Unapologetic

By Alex Guyot ("Ghee(As in "geesegoose")-yo")

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A Glimpse at App Review's Motives

December 9, 2014

Cromulent Labs, developer of the rejected iOS app Launcher:

During [a conversation with someone at App Review], I also asked specifically why Launcher was removed from the App Store after 9 days when other similar apps are still available weeks later. The answer to this question was the most interesting and informative response I had ever heard from them. They basically said that Launcher was a trailblazer in uncharted territories and that they felt that they needed to make an example of it in order to get the word out to developers that its functionality is not acceptable without them having to publish new specific guidelines. And they said that the fact that they aren’t seeing hundreds of similar apps submitted every day is proof to them that taking down Launcher was successful in this regard.

This was a pretty big revelation to me. After Launcher was rejected and the press picked up on it and started writing articles which painted Apple in a bad light, I was afraid that Apple might be mad at me. But it turns out that was actually the outcome they were looking for all along. They acted swiftly and made me the sacrificial lamb. And after that, removing other apps with similar functionality became a low priority for them.

Marco Arment put it best:

This is a disgraceful, disrespectful, and cowardly way to create and enforce policies, and it’s burning a lot of developer motivation to work on iOS.

You’re better than this, Apple.

Just disgusting.

Restore hunt?

If you're switching from another device, you can restore your progress here.

If you found this randomly, I recommend doing the hunt yourself, but you do you.


(Just basic tasks?)

(Hard cube tasks too?)

(Here on accident?)


legend!

May your name be forever emblazoned on the Bonk leaderboard.

Truly, thank you for exploring this website.

Now go forth and make Easter eggs!


(Again?)


To do (as well) :

  • Solve the cube in 4 moves or less
  • Scramble the cube by at least 50 turns, flip it, and reset it (for more fun: solve before resetting)

You probably need a touch device for the rest of these. If you switch devices, long-press the Easter egg to restore your progress.

  • Make it to level 9 in Bonk
  • ?????????????
  • Make it to level 10 in Bonk
  • ?????????????
  • Make it to level 11 in Bonk

(Sick of this?)

(Miss victory?)


Congrats!

You found all the Easter eggs.

If you enjoyed this, let me know and then go play Goose Game (not an ad, Goose Game just rocks).


(Finished?)

(Thirsty for pain?)

(Again?)


To do :

  • Flip the cube
    Hint?(Double-click the cube)
  • Learn pronunciation
    Hint?(Of the author's last name)
  • Send an important message
    Hint?(The message is "yo")
  • Locate the troublesome goose
    Hint?(Ghee I wonder where it coule be?)
  • Anger the goose
    Hint?(Honk til it's red in the bill)
  • Shoot a rainbow
    Hint?(Look reeeeal low)
  • Shoot some stars
    Hint?(Above the rainbow)
  • Find out what is happening
    Hint?(First shoot lots of stars)
  • Make a full commitment
    Hint?(Get help understanding)
  • Have fun
    Hint?(You have to really want it)
    (Or, find a page that doesn't exist)
  • Play with a slinky
    Hint?(Ask questions after game over)
    (Or, poke around the colophon)
  • Get insulted (at least three times)
    Hint?(Ask the right question, wait for enough answers)

(Stuck?)

(Got it now?)

(Hate cursive?)

(Miss the cursive?)

(Over it?)